The feeling will remain .....

Now this is sensitive. I pray to all the super natural powers that wander around me to keep me on track!

On my previous entries in this space, I have received varied comments. I published all the favourable comments and rejected the rest. I appreciate blogspot for providing the "moderate comments" option!
Some friends think they are just okay ... nothing specific .. important friends ... but I respect their thoughts ... may be they expect more from me and I have failed to match their expectation! I will work harder.
Many other friends and close family were very appreciative of the entries, with many comments that are motivating and also capable of slightly lifting me off my feet! Thank you all!

But why this now?

I have many friends and I am glad that I have been gathering them all my way since quite a young age! I am very glad that I have each one of them as part of my life.

But why this now?

I want to write about a very recent friend ... very very recent ... a friend who made me realise what friendship is all about! It’s irresistible that I don't write about him here.

Before I proceed to explain how, where, when and who; I will have to expose myself little more to you; to try and bring out the real reason why this person deserves a special entry in my blog!

I am such a fuss! Truly, if I view myself from a third-party shoe, I will call myself "Oh, just ignore her, she is a fuss of the first degree!"
I fuss about food! I need good food. I really do. I mean it. If my self-preparation is bad, I do not serve it for anyone but myself. Food has to be perfect and each thing should carry its distinguished taste and smell. Now let me not project as if I am a wonderful cook ... I do fine ... but I fuss like hell when others serve me. Ask my mom and she will tell you how I could identify that the beans or carrot needs more cooking, sitting in my study room!
Adding to it, I am fussy also about whom I eat with! I know it is bad, but I can't help it. My distinction does not follow caste or creed or gender. I can eat only with people whom my heart recognizes. So, recently there are times when I eat alone. I don't feel bad about it. Solitude is better than forced company, to me!
-----

We were on our way back from our vacation ... a cut-short to the trip because my husband got infected with Chicken pox. We had to leave back for home 4 days before schedule and it was a 5-day holiday plan. The positive was that we got the chance to travel by car from the hill-top to the Chennai plains! The positive is: I realised a deep feeling. I felt it.

My husband was not well; but I must admit, he was doing his best not to fall too sick. I could feel it, sitting next to him. I understood that he doesn't want to look weak, considering that we are traveling on a lonely route and if he is not too awake, I am at risk.
Fear was there. Very much there. Today it looks futile to have feared, but back then it was there.

The car driver ... a nice guy ... I had enquired about the driver's capability on the hilly-roads with the hotel reception; I consider my husband best in driving and traveling with someone else is always a secondary option for me. This time I had no option. Even if I was told that he is not too good, I could have done nothing but be ready for a mishap!

He was wonderful. We spoke a lot about the hills. About areas least visited and areas most visited. We spoke about climate, vegetation. He showed me coffee plantations. I touched coffee seeds and smelled them too. He showed us some falls and spoke about their origin. From him, I leant about the tribes and their villages and their lifestyle. With him and his words, I got a fresh view of the Mountains and its habitat. It was rejuvenating.

We stopped once or twice for medicines or for tender coconut or for petrol. He was very helpful. Calm and composed. Told me not to try reading while we are driving down mountains, they could disturb vision and in turn lead to a headache.

He was a sweet chap! He played some old Hindi song CDs that I enjoyed. I was surprised when my husband could also recognise some of those songs! Amazing guy! With a body temperature peaked at 102 degrees; uncomfortable car ride; this guy still had his enthusiasm alive. Just for me! I knew! I know!

We had to stop for lunch. I had packed sufficient idli “rice pancakes” for my husband and he ate it in the car. It’s not safe to face dust with this infection. Also, members of the society are likely to dislike when Chicken-pox-infected-members enter common places. Understandable, though!

I acted very casual. But let me tell, my thoughts about lunch have been dominating my mind for a while by then. I couldn’t even concentrate on some part of “love aaj kal” that our driver played for us on the Car TV. I knew this moment would come and I dreaded it.

My husband wouldn’t get down from the car. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t.
I would go in alone. Of course, Salim would also come in. We both had to eat lunch. He had said that it is a good place. But how good can a highway dhaba be? And Good Food is very very very subjective, ain’t it?

However, my apprehension was not about the food. Not at all. I would eat rice curd and pickle and manage till I get home. But would I sit alone or would Salim sit next to me to eat?

Almost 2 hours I pondered over this thought and there was nothing I could conclude about it. I would usually allow things to flow with the stream. But this was my ever-fuss situation. How would everything happen?

The place was clean. Thank Goodness! 1% of my problem is solved.
Salim walked to wash his hands. I followed. He was not to be seen afterwards. For few seconds.

Usually drivers do not share table with us. I haven’t traveled with drivers much, but this line suited my preference. I chose a table close to a window. A window directed towards our parked hired-car. I sat on the chair closest to the window. I wanted to keep a watch on my husband. Or was I insecure? How does it matter now, the day is over and it has taken away all the fear and anxiety.

He was standing close to me. Looking at the table next to mine. There was a man already eating on that table and he was about to pull the chair and join him.

“Join me, Salim”
“Madam”
“Join me. Sit here”

We had a nice meal. We both opted for South Indian meals. It’s never too clever to try north dishes in a south-eat-out. We spoke little over food. That little made so much sense. So much.
He was sorry that our holiday was ending like this. He was happy that my husband was managing well and sitting-up still. He was keen that we make it again this year. He was excited when I said I would touch-base when we revisit. He was eating well. He accepted my offer and ordered a lemon-soda. He smiled when I cracked a silly joke. He suggested I tip the waiter with no more than 10/- and he was pleased when I thanked the waiter for his services.

This is surely his regular stop-place; and it would have probably added some weight to his image that he shared table with his lady customer; ordered a juice; tipped the waiter ten bucks! All this was apart his bata!

But I did not ask him to join me for all this.
I offered to eat with him out of instincts. My heart recognized him. Felt him.
It was not difficult to share my table with him. It was not difficult to eat with him.
I felt something very deep. A human instinct. A natural feeling of feeling one with someone. This had no physical connection, we don’t know much about each other, I don’t even know if he is married, I know he prays in a different style to the Lord because of his name.

This was friendship. In its truest form. I felt it. I shared it. I carried it. Here, I deliver it to one and all of you.
I am still floating in that feeling. A feeling that I felt for Salim. A feeling which I am not sure I will feel for anyone else ever again.

My tribute to the feeling of Friendship, Humanity and Sharing.

He sells - your footwear and his sarees :)

Temples …. for that matter any place of worship is always crowded … jammed with human crowd … each one carrying a load on his/her shoulder, is there to see the Lord and tell him/her that its now getting too much to take, help me with some. I have also heard many say, “I don’t deserve this, why are you giving me so much trouble.” I have wondered how one can decide for him/her self that something is deserved and something is not deserved? “Deserve” to me is a very deep word. Very very deep. Anyway, just coz this is my blog, my space, does not mean that every time I have to force you through a journey of my thoughts.
Moreover, God and devotion are very sensitive topics and my view of the whole affair can get offensive. I will have to use the very correct words to make it sound neutral .. and on my vacation, I will prefer milder writing.

Yesterday, we visited a temple. A very famous temple in South India. A female dominated temple, the only place probably where you see the Goddess before you see the God! Big difference! Anyway, that is the rule of the place … a human rule … to me, God would never have laid any rules .. he/she in whatever form! It is such a tempting topic; I want to write more … but give me some years … I am in the process of testing my belief and concepts … let us wait for the test results :)

Again, back to the temple … beautiful place .. I am going there for the second time … my husband for the 3rd or 4th time .. but for both of us … it is the first time with each other. I think this is well-timed too … after 5 years my husband is now ready to take me to a female dominated land without feeling insecured!

Have you read my previous blog entry about how I got lost on my way to work? I am sure now you are not expecting me to remember anything about this temple though I have visited it once earlier. I relied on my husband .. he is a walky-talky map!

Straight, we could see the entrance to the temple! A huge sanctum … base blue and multi-colored forms of Gods and Goddesses .. impressive .. huge … This temple is supposed to have many sanctums and I was wondering if this is the main or if I am yet to see something bigger!

“Leave your slippers here for free” . I turned … FREE? Why would he want to do that … I turned to see the face of the voice … Nice .. must be 30-ish .. South Indian smart, I could say.
Temples are good business areas, for reasons known to all. Then why would this man want to do this for free? I stood … my husband urged me to walk … I stood … something impressed me … I was still not sure what … my husband also stopped now.
The guy looked at Jayaram and said, “You could leave your footwear here for free”. My guy knows the place well, he said, “the temple authorized place is on the first right from here and we could leave it there too. Thanks!”
“It has rained heavily Sir, your branded footwear may get bad. Leave it here”
We looked at eachother and I waited for that nod of the head … he removed his and I followed. We put it where he indicated and were almost leaving the shop, when he said, “When you come to pick them, browse though our saree collection, if you like, pick them too”

So this was it! I couldn’t resist. I turned back, looked at him and smiled! I liked it!
This is marketing, I don’t know what the MBA books teach about marketing .. but to me, the concept is ..
Any action that attracts one to your product and puts him/her into the “potential customer” category, is marketing. The first step though.

Now all that this guy had to do was “convert” these chappal-customers into “saree customers”. I was keen to come back after the temple visit to see how this guy convinces us! :)

I already said that this temple has many sanctums and we didn’t come out through the same gate through which we went in about 2 hours back.Now we had a long way to walk to reach our bare necessity .. our branded chappals :)

I saw this shop to our left .. small place but they had a good collection of sarees … we went in .. I got 3 of them in 5 minutes ... deal done and we continued walking.

We reached our footwear-left-shop .. we had that saree cover in our hand … we went in to take our slippers and I was waiting to be asked about seing the sarees.

A guy spoke, “Would you like to see some sarees?” My husband was clear, he didn’t want me to see more, “No, we are done.” The guy, “how can you leave your slippers here and buy saree elsewhere?”
Now this was funny. I had started smiling already. Jayaram didn’t find it funny though. He smiles only 1/10th quantity of how much I do, average per day!
The argument began and Jayaram spoke the last line, “Is this conditional Free Service?” We walked out. I turned to see the face of this guy who spoke so much. Much older, 50-ish, little upset with life in general and now angry with us.

Episode over. Chapter close. We walked to our room.

I am thinking: It all started off well … I liked the way this guy started off … he said we could leave slippers there, he used the key word and attracted a customer … he was anyway not doing service, he was only collecting data-base for saree sales; I understood that when he said that: on our return we could look into his collection. Alls well.

What went wrong? The attitude of the 50-ish old member of the shop. His words.

Now let me guess this scenario: He was one of the oldest employees of the shop … this guy who initially spoke to us is a new-comer or may be the owner’s son who is now trying new sales strategies to improve revenue. First, the old-horse surely doesn’t like this new-entry and his ideas; worse if the idea has eventually increased revenue too. Second, has the marketing idea been conveyed effectively to the 50-ish old man? The older man seemed to understand that anyone and everyone who leaves slippers with them have signed an agreement to make purchases there!

Ha!

What would have been the conversation if the same 30-ish guy had attended to us if he was there when we returned:
“Sir, Madam, would you look at the collection?”
“No, thanks. We already shopped”
“Oh, that’s great. Padma stores?” he says looking at the cover in my hand. I nod with a shy smile and slight guilt deep down.
“Nice shop. Very old shop ma’am. Good buy. Would you still want to look at something that I have? I have this cotton collection that both young and old could wear, you usually don’t get such cotton everywhere. Also, I offer 5% discount since you allowed me to safe-guard your footwear.”
“Hmm … what range?”
“Any range that you are ready to spend. Did you have a good darshan? Allow me to help you with the bags”

I am now 50% potential customer. Now he needs to be really smart, considering that I have already spent some money on sarees. He should not show me anything too costly and nothing too normal. He has to be picky!

The rest I am not sure how it would have gone. If Jayaram had a calm face, I may have picked up one. If not, no. Also, how I liked what he showed in the first 2 minutes would decide it all.

I really liked this guy’s idea and I am sure the above follow-up would have happened if he were there. My intuitions say so.
Good Marketing, for what I see.

The only one thing that they need to do is … make sure we or anyone who leaves footwear with him dont buy elsewhere, considering the many entrances and the shops in between. In addition to the key word “FREE” he could have also used “DISCOUNT” or given me his card … he could have a sales member near each entrance … he could run an auto to his store from all entrances … I am being wild with my thoughts, I am little upset that he lost a potential customer despite all efforts; because 1. Members making the strategy and members executing the strategy do not belong to the same school of thought 2. Follow-up was weak

The long-road to office!

Anybody who has spoken to me for more than 60–61 minutes will already be aware that I need to travel an hour to reach my workplace and I ride my 3-year old Activa. I would have also told you the various problems I face, not missing the backache and my no-time–for-exercise schedule.

Now, anybody who knows so much about the most important journey of my everyday life deserves to know what happened today!

Experiments do not work with me. I prefer pre-set paths.

Assumptions do not work with me. Assurance does.

Hints do not guide me. This-way and that-way will take you there...this works perfect.

Today’s Tale

A normal day … okay I will be honest …. Not a very normal day …. The morning tuition kids came late and I was irritated … they don’t concentrate on what is being taught and I need to be patient and explain the importance of this chapter in the epic and in history too … cooking, packing for work, preparing breakfast, getting ready for work … wondering if I can leave early in the evening for KrishnaJayanthi … Husband suggesting that I take the day off! I saying nope, not today! Saying “No” puts the most stress on me!

I start off for work on time … Husband-I part ways after our 2-kms together-ride and then I start my long-journey to work. All was well … my brake was working fine … I had full control over the bike … I was concentrating on the road … I took all the right-left as all days … I stood at all signals … and then …

..and then … the 5th signal of my route showed 150 seconds waiting and I was almost in the 15th row of vehicles! I noticed the free-left that takes you to the perpendicular road without having to wait at a signal … it would be a curving road, I knew. I just had to take the correct left, the correct right and the correct left!

I should have taken the warning there .. CORRECT is such a big word! ….

I swayed my Activa into the free-left … All was well … then I don’t remember what happened … I took the next right and the next left … I knew it was the way .. but now I know I didn’t take the Correct Right-left … To my horror .. I got lost! Gosh!

I didn’t know where I was going … concerned that I was on the wrong road … I did what I dreaded most … my husband will be terribly ashamed of me … I am lost!
I smiled, I could sense that I was slightly hysteric … then I smiled again and I produced it better and then I smiled once again … and I was my normal self. A smile helps, proved again. All this while, I was still fast on the accelerator.

Then I turned to look around as I rode to see that the places around me were actually nice … the road was a residential street with trees all around and a kid-school too on the right … the road offered a right and left … I peeped and found the right more interesting … bigger road with medians and less traffic .. I decided to go that way .. I am anyway lost, how does it matter where I get lost .. let me as well enjoy this …

Then there were many decisions to take .. this way that way … at a signal I decided to take the free-left but by the time I reached the signal, it was green and I decided to as well go straight … how did it matter anyway!

After about 30 minutes, I really got tired. I mean, how longer could I be in the “lost-state”. I finally pulled my brakes and stopped, to find no-one around. No one ask-able, to be specific.
There was this young lady on the road, walking with an umbrella .. must be terribly complexion conscious, again not my type. But how did her cosmetic-interest matter to me while all I want to know is “Where am I?”

I excused myself with her and asked various questions, the answers of which I thought would help me! She understood that I was lost, but wondered why I was full of smiles! She said “there is a shorter route with various turns to reach your destination, but if you are here already, I am sure you will never make it there on the turning-route. Please travel on the main road and take the signals straight till you reach the Arch! Turn left”
I interrupted, “the Anna nagar Arch?”
“No” came the sharp reply “Ayanavaram Arch”
“There is an arch here too? Amazing. Do you live here? I live in Anna nagar”
“Nope, I am here to meet my friend .. I bunked work today”
“Wow! Lovely. Where do you work?”
“ICICI bank – Sales Manager”
“Oh poor you!. Meeting your bf today? You can tell me .. anyway you don’t know me and so you need not worry if I would tell anyone! Isn’t it?”
“That’s right. Yes. We want to have a day out, just us.”
“Awesome, wish you a nice day J Freak-out! Your name?”
“Divya. Yours?”
“Priya. Thanks Divya … I go straight and straight and left at the Arch!”
“Right. Office?”
“Yes. Late. Bye!”

Ayanavaram has an Arch too?? But then I have no right to question her words, I don’t even know which direction is Ayanavaram from Anna nagar!!
I went on as she suggested and to the left I started seeing places that I have seen before … not very familiar, but I knew I had seen them before .. may be yesterday evening? … I then decided to take the route that I thought right! It’s anyway a day of adventures; why not as well try this?

Aha! I reached K4 and from there I took the left and right and then …

… and then… the 5th signal of my route showed 150 seconds waiting and I was almost in the 15th row of vehicles! I noticed the free-left … that takes you to the perpendicular road without having to wait at a signal … it would be a curving road, I knew. I just had to take the correct left, the correct right and the correct left!

I patiently waited for 151 seconds and rode off straight!

2009 - I have nothing new on the blog.

2009 - I have nothing new on the blog. This does not necessarily mean that I have not been writing. Of course, I have been writing... I have been writing mails and mails and mails at work... I have also passed some birthday one-liners (which actually mean a lot to me, i believe more in "hapie bday" than in words like - may this year bring in lot of happiness and ..... or something like - this is your day, party and have real fun and dont miss out to.... they are just words, but i love a simple mail that just says "hapie bday" with all my heart) Why so much about this? Because a female friend complained that it was the most non-friendly bday wish she has ever received. haha.. i had nothing to say

Unfortunately, I also had to pen some condolence mails and some sorry mails for forgotten bdays and anniversaries and baby's first month!!

Now this should explain why I couldnt blog ... i was writing ...



Now, after 3 months, I am not too sure what to write about, but i surely know I want to write!! Too many people have asked me ... What happened? You dont have a new poem about viral fever or the ended struggle :)

On the lighter side, of course I could write about them too ... but days are getting really so busy and hectic that looking at myself in the mirror has become a rarity!! So now you can guess the rest!

I have something to write about .. about my dreams ... about my dreams coming true ..

Await .. they are on their way!

"No words" for Poetry

I want to write a poem,

I realise its been long,

I am trying to pen down points ..

.. but they are all scattered like dropped coins!

I thought let me shake-awake the poet in me-

So I read some of the best poetry ever:

Wordsworth, Blake, Shakespeare, Kipling.

I have nothing left, they have covered everything!

Nature, Women, Society -

Everything stands covered!

Love and pain; Gain and loss;

Kings and kingdoms; Beauty and lust.

If there were a universal box of ideas,

A repository created when the world formed ...

I regret I am born too late;

There seems nothing left for me and the generations to come!