“But why are you crying so much? Why will you not stop? Eat, please?”
I was now
getting slightly annoyed. This was too much. I needed to ask her about my
project materials for std. 8 final project. She just wouldn’t stop sobbing. I
was beginning to hate that arm chair. Hours after hours, she was weeping. She was
looking weaker. Will she also die like this? Does she also want to go with
grandma to heaven? It is just 3 days, would grandma already have reached? Is
she meeting Hanuman? Oh ho, Amma, stop now.
“Amma, tell me. Now.”
Enough was enough. At 13, you already know that you can raise your voice
a bit to get your point across.
“I will be fine, Rajathi”
“Tell me. I will understand. I am a big girl, Amma”
“Priya, patti is no more.”
“Yes, Amma, I know. 3 days back. You always tell me not to cry, and you
are crying now. A lot”
A long pause.
I was almost about to get up and leave her to the silence.
A feeble,
yet loaded voice, “Who will now respond when I call
out ‘AMMA’?”
“I will, Amma.”
Louder
sobs.
“Is that all you are crying about?”
“Hmmmmm”
“I will. I promise I will. Amma. Everytime. Forever.”
A hug from
a mother to a newly born mother. Tight, warm, caring, needy, dependent,
protective, promising. A promise to be there, always, my promise to my mother
to play her Amma.
From 1996
Feb to 2018 July. Her every “Amma” was
followed by my “Chollu di ma, ennu venum?”
I will miss
my daughter of 22 years. I will miss the one voice that called me AMMA.
I will miss
my 22 years of motherhood, the best journey of my life.
Translation Notes
Rajathi – Princess (context,
it is a pet name)
Patti – Grandma
Chollu di ma – tell me (baby)
Ennu venum – what is it? What do
you want?
1 comment:
Yes Priya..she has tild me this. .that Priya is not my daughter.. she is my mother ...in many ways...
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