Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Be willing to be a student sometimes!

It has taken me a year to fill my blog with something. A year. I don’t believe it! The car-ride experience from Kodaikanal to Chennai and all the related affairs are still so fresh in my mind. The year has surely passed fast. Good. Very good!

Work has been at top priority, after family and near-dear ones, of course.

I just read a friend’s status quote which says, “Be willing to be a student sometimes!”. Not a perfectly structured line, I would say, “Sometimes, be willing to be a student!”.

But the message is much more important. Sentence structuring and word usage, for most of us, ended in school. Then on, the emphasis has been more on the message/stuff than the words.

In all this, have most of us forgotten how to express?

Have words lost their value?

“Thanks” “Sorry” “I Love You” “Miss You” – these words have long lost their true meaning. The words now no longer seem to carry the expression. They come so much from the tip of the tongue than from the depth of the heart, so much that it has become increasingly difficult to trust that someone really loves us or is thankful to us or is sorry about what happened or misses us.

This makes the world an all the more easy place to live for the men around me. Since these words have no credence, our folks are spared from using them and expressing themselves. Do they still know that the woman inside the lady would still want to hear these words? Nay!

Do we know to use words to appreciate other’s efforts? At home or work? We seem to be more worried about the other person’s ego getting boosted with our appreciation than valuing the human in him/her and adding to their goodness for the day. But then, do we stop ourselves from pointing the not-so-nice? :) hehe!

Some of my friends tease me for using words like amazing, perfect, great, awesome, lovely, fantastic, wow, nice. I am absolutely sure they are just pulling my leg for this is not how many of us express; and for the non-Indian customer base for whom I work and from whom I pick such adjectives. But I like these words. They carry so much positive energy. So much that it adds enthusiasm not only to the receiver and listeners, but to the speaker too. I love these words :)

So to see, words have not died, the good ones have faded with time.

Have actions also died down?

How many of us hug our friends? How many of us shake hands everyday with our colleagues? (In my previous workplace, we were 5 friends – 2 guys and 3 girls and each day all of us shook hands when we met each other for the first time in the day. This act did not seem to bear much importance while we did. There were others who thought it funny and unnecessary. But who cared? Today, now in my current workplace, I miss this contact. A simple hand shake confirmed the relationship and re-established everyday that we are going to work together and solve all problems hand-in-hand. It reduced stress. I miss you, guys! It will be great to work with you all again, any day!).

Do we all hug our family members before we leave for office each day and after we return home? How many of us make eye contact with our partners (whatever be the status of the relationship) to tell them that they add value to our lives?

When was the last time we told our mother about the wonderful pongal-chutney-kesari that she makes? Do we look back at our lives and appreciate our parents for their contribution to our present? Does your little one know that you admire her/him when she/he is fast asleep?

Time of Assumptions!

Today is a time where assumptions rule higher than expression. I of course love you otherwise why would I be doing this? Of course I like what you make, why else do I eat so much? Of course you are good to work with, otherwise I would have shifted team long back.

I wonder, is it only me who thinks – probably the person is clinging on for comfort reasons? Probably eating what I make since it works out cheaper? Works with me only coz others are little more difficult. I hope and really hope I am not the only person under the big Sun who needs words and actions and expressions.

I don’t much understand why expressions are kept a secret. While I understand things like “if everything is said, then nothing remains.” Right. But that’s for those to worry who come even somewhere close to “everything”. Most of us are now at level “nothing”. :)

We are living in a world of men and women; where men understand only action; express only through actions and see through their eyes, whereas women want to say it all, hear it all and see through their minds. Will the balancing happen or is this something that my 3 gen-next will also write about? Or would words, actions and expression be extinct and relate to history and be called historical terminologies?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

good write-up....It is not always the case that men don't want to express themselves so much because they don't wish to communicate with someone. It means in some cases that we are not yet ready to express ourselves if this is a case in relationship a man just as a woman, should be given time and the other person should be patient with them. But with time and patients in most cases men will express themselves to the right people at the right time.

Anonymous said...

Well said & expressed..

Priya said...

Dear Anonymous1: "good write-up .......to the right people at the right time."
I agree! Patience Pays! Yet! :)
I am sure you want to keep your identity a secret. Due respect. Thanks for reading and considering it good.

Priya said...

Hey Anonymous2: Thank you :)

Unknown said...

Well said!! i feel that ppl in the moderized world fail to express their love... i still hear my father/mother using these wonderful phrases every morning.. technology and the stress these days probably make men or women to avoid (not forget) expressing their emotional side

Unknown said...

Well said!! i feel that ppl in the moderized world fail to express their love... i still hear my father/mother using these wonderful phrases every morning.. technology and the stress these days probably make men or women to avoid (not forget) expressing their emotional side

Priya said...

Preeti: yeah ... lifestyle surely contributes. Only contributes!

Phoneix said...

We don't appreciate because we don't realize the value of care we receive. Main reason is that most guys don't know the time and energy involved in getting it done. Not that i was an exception. But when hell broke loose during my stay in Delhi, i realized it all. Even when you are damn tired or worst even sick, you got to get the glass of water by yourself. Mom i love you....
As for the positive words and being thankful, the factor is our culture. We are bought up with teachings to respect elders, but never to be thankful to strangers for small acts. In Melbourne once i lost my way while cycling. I asked a couple on road walking along with their kid for route, the guy guided me on the route. As i looked up for signal, the kid said "You should have said thanks by now". The other day i was walking past a rally. A mom with two kids was struggling to give a view of the procession to both her kids. I helped her by lifting one of her kid. The second i got him down, he turned around and said "thank you". In recent years, our life style has been influenced by western culture to a larger extent. But for unknown reasons we don't want to be thankful for small acts to strangers.