FEAR HAS TO SHIFT ITS GEAR

(Read I as a girl or boy; the write up is not biased to gender, caste, creed, religion, faith, political beliefs)

I have missed my tuition classes more often because the road to the class felt deserted and I felt being watched and followed; than for the fear of the lessons and homework.

I have missed getting into my bus lesser for the rush, and more often for the quality of the crowd, my body parts didn’t feel safe.

I didn’t like going to doctors, because that one man, a doctor who my family trusted, took advantage of me and touched me in ways that even today I flinch at the thought of it. I still don’t like going to doctors.

I chose scoring low marks than going to my school teacher for private tuitions, in fear of having to smell his perfume; he gets so close to me, so damn unnecessarily physically close.

FEAR

Like most other girls of my age, I lived in constant fear. Fear of letting someone get close to me, fear of not letting someone get close to me, fear of wearing the wrong clothes or giving the wrong indication and making men think I am available, fear of even by mistake keeping my legs crossed because that’s an invitation and so I was made to believe. Fear of not laughing too much or not laughing too loud, men will take advantage of me and so I was told. Fear of making new friends in the opposite gender, what if he wants to just feel me up and nothing more. Fear of not making enough friends, what if I need anyone to support me and I don’t have anyone then.

TRUST

And as it had to be, trust went for a toss. I trust none. None at all. Out of fear of disappointment and being hurt.

THIS, HAS TO SHIFT GEARS. THIS FEAR HAS TO SHIFT ITS GEAR.

The loafers on the road, be it auto drivers or a guy walking by, should fear that he will be slippered if he dares pass an inappropriate comment. I should trust that the people around me will stand by if I even feebly complain of discomfort.

The lust-soaked monsters in the bus should fear that they will be pushed out of the bus to a police station, should they dare touch me or over react to a simple brake on the road; they should experience chill shiver kind of fear when they think of getting naked in a police station. The kind of chill that runs down my spine when he gropes me from behind. I should trust the driver, conductor and co-passengers in the bus for standing by if I express discomfort.

A doctor should lose his license for good, even if there is one case of sexual harassment against him. This fear, I want every doctor to suffer this fear. Fear should engulf him before he takes advantage of a patient’s vulnerability. I should be able to trust that the system will cancel his license if his eyes roam beyond needed, if his fingers linger on me for a second more than needed, if he undresses me for examination which is truly unneeded, and anything and everything that I feel unsafe about.

A teacher should be out-caste from the society, that fear should run through his veins, every time he agrees to mentor a child. Dare take advantage of the respect shown to you by virtue of being the guru, dare not. I should trust my friends, classmates, other teaches, institute and system that even my slightest discomfort will be checked on.

FEAR HAS TO SHIFT ITS GEAR